Therapy for low self-esteem in Amersham and online
One-to-one counselling with Jen Morrison, BACP-registered therapist, for the kind of not-enoughness that no amount of evidence seems to touch.
It’s the voice that reads your own message four times before sending, files every compliment under “they’re just being nice,” and waits patiently for the day everyone realises they were wrong about you.
Low self-esteem is rarely obvious. It often looks like someone who is doing well, apologising a bit too often, and deflecting praise as though it’s been sent to the wrong person by mistake.
A lot of the people who come to me for this have spent years being told by well-meaning friends and family that they shouldn’t have a problem with it. They’ve heard they’re capable, loved, doing fine. They know all of that rationally. None of it touches the part that feels otherwise, because low self-esteem sits somewhere deeper and older than rational arguments tend to reach.
Some of the shapes low self-esteem takes
The sense of not being quite enough
Regardless of what you do or achieve, there’s a baseline feeling that you’re falling short. It doesn’t respond to evidence, and it’s often loudest after the moments when you’ve done most to deserve feeling fine.
Feeling like a fraud, even when you’re clearly not
Looking around and waiting for the moment everyone notices you don’t quite know what you’re doing. The sense that your achievements are lucky accidents rather than things you’ve earned.
Self-worth that rises and falls with what you’ve done lately
Your sense of yourself tends to shift with whatever’s happening around you, rising on a good week at work and sinking the moment something feels off. You’re reading cues constantly for who you’re allowed to be today.
The inability to take in praise
Someone gives you a compliment and before you’ve finished hearing it, your brain has already filed it under ‘they’re just being nice.’ Meanwhile, a piece of criticism lands instantly and stays with you for days.
Shrinking in rooms you belong in
Holding back in meetings where you know the material, waiting for permission to take up space in social gatherings you’ve been invited to, feeling as though you’re allowed in the room, but only if you don’t take up too much of it.
Who comes to see me
I work with people who, on the outside, are doing well. They have careers, relationships, families, people who rely on them. What they haven’t said out loud to many people is that none of it has translated into feeling good about themselves.
They may have been told for years that they’re too hard on themselves. They might have read the self-help books, tried the affirmations, done the mental gymnastics of talking themselves into feeling differently. If any of that had worked, they wouldn’t be on this page.
If that sounds like you, I’d love to hear from you.
How we’d work on it together
A person-centred approach
There’s no fixed protocol to follow, no worksheet to complete between sessions, and no destination I’ve already mapped out for us. We start with you, and with what the feeling of not-enoughness has cost you, what you’ve tried, and what you most want to feel differently about.
How the work unfolds
From there, the work moves in whatever direction feels most alive. Sometimes we trace the feeling back to where it first took hold, often somewhere in childhood, sometimes we look at what’s keeping it alive in your day-to-day life, and sometimes we sit with how exhausting it’s been to keep disowning yourself, because being fully heard on that is where a lot of the shift tends to begin.
Compassionate Inquiry
I’m also trained in Compassionate Inquiry, an approach developed by Dr Gabor Maté. It helps us get underneath the feelings about yourself and look at the beliefs sitting underneath them. The ones you formed a long time ago about what you had to be in order to be loved, safe, or accepted. Those beliefs made sense at the time. They’ve also been causing a lot of unnecessary pain since.
Read about how I work
What tends to shift
The inner critic doesn’t vanish, and I wouldn’t trust anyone who promised that. But it starts sounding less like a fact and more like an opinion, one you can notice, and choose not to agree with.
People often notice things like:
- Hearing the inner critic start up, instead of agreeing with what it says
- Taking in a compliment without batting it away
- Saying what you really think in meetings, not the tactful version of it
- Making decisions without needing everyone’s approval first
- Catching the urge to apologise for existing, and letting it pass
- Feeling more solid even when the external feedback is mixed
This tends to be a slow, deep shift rather than a quick fix. A lot of the people I work with describe it as the first time they’ve felt like they can take up space in their own lives.
If a group feels like a better fit
I also run a small-group course called The Power of Self-Esteem, held in person in Amersham. It’s for people who find it helpful to work on self-esteem alongside others doing the same thing. Some do the course on its own, others alongside individual therapy with me. It’s a different kind of space from the therapy room, and a lot of people find both formats useful.
Find out more about The Power of Self-Esteem
The details
- Session length: 50 minutes
- Fee: £65 per session
- Availability: Daytime and evening appointments available, in person in Old Amersham or online via Zoom
Your first conversation with me is always free.
Book a free 15-minute consultation, ask me anything you want, and get a real feel for how I work before you decide anything at all.
Or send me a message first if you prefer.