Therapy with me
How do I work?
My approach to therapy is person-centred. This means that I believe that you are the expert on yourself and your own life. I aim to learn about you and how you see the world.
I practise Compassionate Inquiry in sessions, an approach based on the work of Dr Gabor Mate. Together, we’ll explore your core stories – what story you’re telling yourself unconsciously, what your beliefs are, and where they came from.
I will reflect back what I hear and observe, commenting where appropriate. Hearing yourself is very powerful.
I see my role as a companion on your journey. It’s possible to let go of the stories that don’t serve you anymore, or to let go of the hold they have on you. In turn, you’ll discover your own resources, abilities, and autonomy, which will enable you to make lasting changes in your life.
FAQs
It’s normal to have a lot of questions when starting therapy. Here are some answers you may be looking for.
How can therapy help me?
Therapy provides a safe, private and regular space for you to explore difficult feelings. Talking about things gives them shape. When you understand what you are feeling and why, you can make clear decisions about how you might want to move forward. You may discover better ways to cope with your emotions, or you may decide to make some changes to the way you think and behave so that you have a better quality of life.
Therapy can help you to:
- Express and process painful feelings in a supportive and non-judgemental relationship
- Gain deeper insight into the issues you face, as well as your sense of self, values and goals
- Improve relationships in your life, including with yourself
- Heal from traumatic experiences
- Develop new perspectives and learn to communicate better with others
I don’t feel like I have a major problem. Can I still benefit from therapy?
Yes. You don’t need to be in a mental health crisis or have a diagnosed mental illness to benefit from therapy. Therapy is useful for self-exploration. Talking to an objective, outside person can help you clarify what you want in life and discover the inner resources you already have to get there.
Some people think that therapy is an extreme option, and that unless things get really bad, you should try to manage on your own. But this isn’t true. Talking to a therapist before you’re at a crisis point can be really helpful. It might feel easier to reflect on what’s going on, and could help keep things from getting worse.
How will I know if therapy is working?
Put simply, therapy is working when you notice change in your life and start to feel better. Here are some signs that therapy is making a difference:
- You bounce back more easily from mistakes or bad days.
- You notice positive changes in your mood, thoughts or behaviour patterns.
- You’re aware of and feel emotions, both joyous and painful.
- Your relationships are more satisfying.
- You have more hope and a greater sense of possibility.
Many people start to feel better relatively quickly as soon as they connect with a therapist. However, therapy often involves bringing up and addressing painful emotions, memories or patterns of behaviour that may have been suppressed or avoided in the past. As you poke the sleeping bear, so to speak, you may temporarily feel worse before you feel better.
Also, making changes in therapy often involves a willingness to experiment or take risks with how you respond to stressful situations. Trying out new behaviours or ways of thinking can be scary, and it may not always work out perfectly at first.
Why would I talk with a therapist instead of a friend?
Our friendships can be some of the most meaningful relationships in our lives. Your friends often understand you in ways no one else can, you trust them, and they are helpful. However, talking to a therapist is different than talking to a friend.
A therapist has the professional training to help you grow and develop as a person. They will ask skilled questions to help you focus on the most important part of your experiences, and to help you uncover the reasons behind your thoughts, beliefs and actions.
A therapist is objective without any emotional stake or vested interest in the decisions you will make. They can provide an outside perspective that your friends don’t have, and will listen with the aim of understanding you. You’re free to be more open and honest with a therapist than you’re ever likely to be with a friend, without having to worry about hurting your therapist’s feelings.
Finally, a therapist’s time and attention are solely focused on you and your feelings. Friendship doesn’t offer the indulgence of focusing only on ourselves. And no matter how solemnly our friends swear to keep what you say a secret, there’s always a chance it might come out eventually. With rare exception, a therapist is legally and ethically obliged to keep what you say in the therapy space confidential.
Session details
I am based in Great Missenden (HP16), Amersham (HP7) & Berkhamsted (HP4).
I offer remote appointments and face-to-face sessions from my therapy spaces in Amersham and Berkhamsted. Day and evening appointments are available.
Sessions are 50 minutes long. Each session is £65.00.